When it comes down to it, divorce is a loss. A huge one! Whether you have been married a short time or many years, a marriage is something we plan on lasting our entire lives. When a divorce comes unexpectedly, it can be a traumatic experience. Many people go through the same Five Stages Of Grief during a divorce that people go through when they experience a death. Grief is a common emotion during divorce and it is important to understand the process so that you can get through the legal portion of the divorce easier.
In Pocatello, divorce lawyers Baker And Harris are very familiar with the process of divorce and what you are experiencing on a personal level. That is why they are able to help guide you through the divorce process with ease. But, they want you to know what to expect emotionally so that you can make the right decisions for you when it comes to laying out the terms of your divorce.
The Five Stages Of Grief are:
Though not every person experiences these stages the same way, there are similar traits in each stage that are evident in everyone experiencing them.
When a divorce hits you out of the blue, your first reaction might be that it isn’t real. Maybe your spouse is having a rough day or a rough time and is just blowing off steam. However, denial is just a protective mechanism to help you when you are emotionally overwhelmed. It is ok to experience denial, but eventually, you need to move past it to move forward in life. Don’t get stuck here.
When the denial fades, anger ensues! Once anger sets in, you may not feel like you are in control of your emotions from time to time. It isn’t uncommon to suddenly find many faults in your ex or blame them for little hiccups in your life. It’s ok to be angry and it is good to let it out. Remember to keep hurtful and insulting words out of earshot if children are involved. Cruel words about your ex significantly impact your children and your relationship with them. Save the name calling for when you are with your friends.
The pain of a divorce can be so overwhelming that it is too much to deal with. At this point, you might feel like you will do anything to get back together with your spouse. You might promise to do things that you don’t want to do. You might offer to give up things that you enjoy just to have them back in your life. This portion of the divorce process is a difficult one because the emotions are so intense. Make sure that your divorce lawyer understands where you are out in the grief process so that they can help you the best way that they can.
Depression during a divorce is no different than depression at any other time in your life. You are sad. You are withdrawing from friends and activities. You do not find pleasure in what used to excite you. When your friends tell you that you need to get off the couch and get out and socialize – listen to them. Nobody is telling you to jump back into the dating world, but socializing alleviates the pain of depression and can help you get through it until acceptance sets in!
After all of the awful part of the grief process, you finally reach acceptance! At this point, you are comfortable. You may not be 100% excited or happy to be divorced, but it is ok. You can get up and hang out with friends and not think about your divorce all day. You can focus on work and hobbies and are hopeful of the future. Suddenly there is light!
Divorce is a major experience that nobody wants to deal with. But it happens. When it does, make sure you have adequate representation so that you have one less thing to worry about during the divorce process. Rely on the kind professionals at Baker Harris Law in Pocatello Idaho.