How Bad Is Divorce For Children?

One of the biggest questions people have when going through a divorce is “How harmful is this going to be on our children?” Divorce isn’t fun for anyone, especially the children involved. Many children feel like their entire worlds are crumbling while their parent’s divorce and a lot of those children’s parents have tried staying together, in an unhappy marriage because they believe it is in the best interest of their children.

While staying in your marriage for the kids’ sake could relieve a child from the trauma of divorce, you don’t really have to. For the most part, research has shown that a very small percentage of children actually suffered serious problems during the divorce or after. Most kids suffer from short-term problems like anger and anxiety, but these feelings fade quickly. However, there are things that can happen during a divorce that can lead to long-term problems for the children involved.

What Can I Do To Keep My Child From Experiencing Long-Term Issues

Children that are exposed to certain environments have a harder time coping and adjusting to divorce. But there are things that you and your spouse can do to help your child have an easier time coping.

1. Limit conflict – Research has shown consistently that conflict in the home is one of the biggest causes for poor adjustment with kids dealing with divorce. This is the conflict that happens during and after the divorce so it doesn’t just have to happen in the home. For the children’s sake, try to keep any conversation that could result in conflict away from your children.
2. Parenting – Stress from problems in the marriage and dealing with the divorce can cause the quality of parenting to suffer. Especially if you are trying to make up for the divorce. Many parents suddenly get relaxed and let their children do more things that they normally wouldn’t allow, but the stress has taken a toll on the level of parenting they are capable of. If this is happening, get some help from your support system. Maybe you need someone to help around the house or even working with a therapist can give you resources and tools to help the household function better.
3. Do Not Bad Talk – Keep your opinions about the other parent to yourself. Saying negative and critical things about your child’s other parent is not going to help your child. In fact, this type of negativity often leads the child to feel resentment toward the parenting that said bad things about the other parent. This is extremely damaging and will harm your relationship with your child.
4. Do Not Force The Child To Take Sides – Just because you are no longer in a relationship with your spouse, the child will always be the other person’s child. Do not try to get your child to pick sides or use them to play mind games with the other parent. Your child is a neutral party and should be left out. Talk to your divorce lawyer about custody issues and your state requirements.

If you are in the middle of a divorce and not sure what to do, contact the divorce lawyers at Baker-Harris Law in Pocatello and let us help you. We have the skills and experience needed to help you get through your divorce with as minimal conflict as possible.